memory&forgetting

this is my favorite RadioLab episode ever, so soo good. i think about it all the time.

a little while ago i found this globe up in the barn and decided it needed to be in my bedroom. you know, for inspiration. i thought i'd be spending a lot of time agonizing over where i should up-and-move-to next. i figured i'd start with the world, and narrow it down from there. but, as much as I'd like to believe otherwise, leaving this place terrifies me. so i ended up ignoring that whole world for several months and did everything i could to try and find a reason to stay right here. i even tried my best to establish that reason in a boy, but that really didn't go as planned. just as nothing ever does. TWIST! so for now, i'm giving up on a grand schematic plan. i'm going to do this in tiny little bits. vignettes, if you will. first up... New York City. leaving on the first day of Fall.

"now here's the truth" she says, and turns it up!

Don't bring me bad news, no bad news
I don't need none of your bad news today
You're a sad little boy, anyone can see you're just a sad little boy
That's why you're carrying on that way
Why don't you burn it all down, burn your own house down, burn your own house down
Try to kill your own disease
And leave the rest of us, there's a lot of us, leave the rest of us
Who wanna live in peace to live in peace

I'm gonna find me a man, love him so well, love him so strong, love him so slow
We're gonna go way beyond the walls of this fortress
And we won't be afraid, we won't be afraid, and though the darkness may come our way
We won't be afraid to be alive anymore
And we'll grow kindness in our hearts for all the strangers among us
Till there are no strangers anymore

Don't bring me bad news, no bad news
I don't need none of your bad news today
You can't have my fear, I've got nothing to lose, can't have my fear
I'm not getting out of here alive anyway
And I don't need none of these things, I don't need none of these things
I've been handed
And the bird of peace is flying over, she's flying over and
Coming in for a landing

--Patty Griffin--

Éponine was always more my style, afterall.

'He was never mine to lose.
Why regret what could not be.
These are words he'll never say.
Not to me.
Not to me.
Not for me.
His heart full of love.
He will never feel this way.'

[les miserables]